Turning a corner

I am pleased to say that I have turned a corner in this journey of how I spend my time. I have been praying Ps 86:11 "Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in Your truth; Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name." God is so faithful to answer such a prayer. No longer is my desire for TV time. Now my passion and desire is consumed with loving my Lord and enjoying sweet fellowship as He speaks to me through His word. He has been renewing my mind and realigning my priorities. The strongholds are being broken. It is certainly a process but I believe the hardest part is over. I would encourage anyone who would like to join me on this journey to stick with it. It's really hard in the beginning and you have to choose daily/hourly. But the more you make the right choice the more your desires are changed so that in the end your desires are aligned with His desires for you.

I also made a CD of worship songs that speak about giving all the Jesus. For me, worship is life changing. One of the songs that is continually in my mind is 'Above All Else'. It is the second song that plays on this blog and here are the words:

Above All Else
Vicky Beeching

Jesus, My passion in life is to know you
May all other goals bow down to
This journey of loving you more
Jesus you’ve showered Your goodness on me
Given Your gifts so freely
But there’s one thing I'm longing for

Hear my heart’s cry; And my prayer for this life
Above all else; Above all else
Above all else give me your self

Savior, the more that I see Your beauty
The more that I glimpse Your glory
My heart is captured by You
Jesus, You are my greatest treasure
Nothing this world can offer
Could ever compare to You

Lord, I pray that our hearts would be captivated by You.

A Living Sacrifice

The Lord has been speaking to me for a while now about sacrifice. It says in Romans 12:1 that we are to be a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to Him as our spiritual act of worship. I’ve always loved that verse and sincerely desired that God would use my life to bring glory to His name. Well, now He is teaching me a new level of being a living sacrifice. In our women’s bible study, we are going through the book of Daniel. We see this amazing example of Daniel, Shadrack, Meshack and Abed-Nego who after being taken into captivity in Babylon, purposed in their heart not to be defiled by the King’s delicacies but to be set apart and not conform to the world around them. And so in one of my inductive questions I wrote “Have I given every area of my life to God’s control? Am I willing to give up luxuries if my God asks me?” Shortly after that the Lord began to speak to me (again) about not watching TV and seeking Him. Next I watched a study by Beth Moore who shared about how in America the culture pushes us to be indulgent and focus on gratifying self. She challenged us to sacrifice an area of indulgence in something we watch, something we eat and something we buy for six weeks (which means 12 weeks for us since we only meet every other week). Then she said something like “for some of you the Lord has already been speaking to you on this and His message to you is: I’m not kidding.” So right then and there in my small group I committed to no TV for two weeks and asked for prayer for how to handle the remaining 10 weeks. For the next two weeks I wrestled with the Lord - trying to negotiate “reasonable terms” of my sacrifice (how ridiculous). You see three of my favorite shows were beginning (American Idol, Survivor and Amazing Race), plus there were a couple reality shows that only had a few weeks until the finale. I had the audacity to think that NO TV was requiring too much of me. So after much negotiation, ‘I’ decided that I would only watch one hour per day on the condition that I also spent one hour seeking the Lord. I was so proud of my (now pitiful) sacrifice and looked forward to sharing it with my small group. Then over the next three days my devotions said things like:

• “Give Jesus your undivided attention and your unquestioned obedience all day long.”
• “Surrender to His will, don’t struggle with it. Make the adjustment. Turn the corner.”
• “Delayed obedience is disobedience – a dangerous place to be in – but obedience brings life and peace”

Then on Sunday, our Pastor in his sermon said ‘don’t complain or argue with God – just do it!’ I really felt like the Lord was requiring me to sacrifice all TV time and anything less would be disobedience. And so I raised the white flag and committed to no TV for the next 10 weeks (from now until Easter).

I’ve also committed to not eat chocolate for the 40 days of lent, starting on Wednesday, February 25th until Easter. For those that know me, this will probably be the hardest sacrifice. I’m not catholic, but I really like the practical idea of abstaining from something you enjoy to put your focus on the ultimate sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. I think it’s a great way to enter into Easter.

The last area that I was challenged in is something I would buy. I haven’t felt a strong prompting of the Lord in this area yet. Maybe instead of something I would buy; I can sell something of value. Today I read an email from a dear friend who obeyed God when He told her to sell her wedding rings to give money to the poor. Wow, I am so convicted (and encouraged) by her willingness to immediately sacrifice in obedience.

Recently I led worship and boldly sang “Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee…Here am I, all of me. Take my life, it’s all for thee…Take my will and make it Thine, it shall be no longer mine.” Looking back now it’s convicting. Do I really mean the words I sing? Am I really a living sacrifice yielded completely to the Lord’s bidding? I sure want to be! I am so thankful for my loving Lord, who has been passionately pursuing me these past few weeks. And so I pray “Thank you, Lord, for speaking so loudly to this stubborn, selfish heart. Forgive me for trying to take back what I have already committed to Your service…ALL of me. Give me the strength to walk in obedience in all areas, as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to You.

New Year's Resolution

I have many New Year's Resolutions for 2009. Some people don't like to make resolutions, but personally I find it inspiring to think that I can start afresh with a new year, with renewed goals, and new determination to be a better wife, mom, friend and servant.

By far the most important Resolution is #1. To spend time daily sitting at the Lord's feet. For me it is so much easier to "run the race" with Jesus than to carve out times of solitude and meditation. I like the analogies in scripture of running, walking, serving, doing....and yet I see the example of Jesus himself while He was on this earth taking time to be still before the Father. The Lord in His gracious way has shown me this past year how necessary it is for me to be renewed daily. I'm still studying on Abiding in the Vine from our past Women's Retreat; and have come to love the analogy of Jesus as the True Vine imparting life, power, wisdom, peace, and everything we need for each day. The lesson for me is that it's daily. In a short devotion by Andrew Murray he writes:

From Day to Day: "The inner man is renewed from day to day" 2 Corinthians 4:16. There is one lesson that all Christians should learn - the absolute necessity of fellowship with Jesus each day. The Lord Jesus will every day from heaven continue His work in me. But on one condition - the soul must give Him time each day to impart His love and His grace. Time alone with the Lord Jesus each day is the indespensable condition of growth and power. The Lord will teach us just how meek and humble He is (Mt 11:25-30). Bow before Him, tell Him that you long for Him and His love, and He will let His love rest on you.

Resolution #2. To show my husband more love through "Acts of Service" (His love language). This involves taking the mounds of clutter that has been tucked, stuffed, hidden and pushed behind closed doors and organize, sell, donate or toss it.

Resolution #3. To be more patient with my son. To be consistent in discipline. To spend time daily being silly, laughing and enjoying these precious moments.

Resolution #4. Start a prayer calendar for my family and friends. Designate specific days for each person to be lifted up in prayer all day and to ask the Lord for a specific scipture or word of encouragment to share with them.

Resolution #5. Memorize scripture. Write a scripture each week on an index card then recite it each morning, read over before each meal and try to say it from memory before bed.

Resolution #6. Actively and diligently pursue the road of adoption.

Resolution #7. Grow in my ability to skillfully play the keyboard. Learn new hand positions for major chords. Practice playing by ear. Learn to play songs without the chords in front of me.

Resolution #8. Grow in my awareness of mission opportunities around me. Spend more time developing relationships with my neighbors and sharing my faith. Give sacrificially as the Lord directs. Fast & pray one meal every Monday for God to move mightily in specific missions (Thomas Family in Africa, Thiele adoption in Ethiopia, Shubin trip to Ethiopia, Ruben in Africa, GFA Missionary)

Resolution #9. Limit TV time (again)

Resolution #10. Take care of my body. What resolution would be complete without the mention of a diet? :) Make healthier choices, eat out less, excercise, consistently take vitamins and supplements, find an active hobby that I enjoy, get an annual exam, save up for a blood panel workup, drink more water, eat less sugar!

Well, that's my top 1o. I'm sharing them for a sense of accountability. Feel free to ask me how I'm doing. I look forward to a new year and seeing how the Lord will continue His transforming work in and through me.